In Dreams
by From Infinities Within
Summary: Everything could go wrong. Edward knows that. But, he decides to come back any way. What happens if he's unhappy with what he finds? Can he really keep his promise to himself to leave Bella alone? Au New Moon. A collab between myself and Carly. Rated M
1. Promise Not To Promise

**(A/N: This is a story that I'm writing with Carly. She doesn't have an account yet. The story will be moved onto a different account. So, I'll post the link soon. **

**Basically, this is an AU New Moon story. Edward's point of view was written by myself, and Bella's point of view (which will be introduced in the next chapter) was written by Carly. Review Lovelies! So, here is my chapter! Enjoy. But, first a disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I own a purple cell phone, an ipod that doesn't work and an annoying best friend called Carly. However, I do not own the Twilight Series. )**

* * *

This was the worst decision I'd made and decided to endure. I didn't know why I had done this to Bella. More selfishly though, I didn't know why I had done this to myself. I couldn't stay away. As much as I wanted to. I was the worst possible thing for Bella's life. I was like a poison to her. Before, I thought of myself as a drug Oh! How self centered I had been in thinking that! She didn't need me. But I needed her. I was the poison that clung to her lips and eventually would stop her heart from beating. One way or another. It was unavoidable. The least selfish thing I had done by far was leaving her. I didn't do it for myself. No- I did it for her. I didn't want to be her poison. I didn't want to kill her. Not when she could eventually forget about the sour taste I would leave in her mouth. Not when she could taste life. There was no bitterness in that. She could be happy. I thought she would be happy without me.

It was impossible though. It hurt me. I was my own poison as well. My own demise. I hated myself for not being stronger. Each day that passed in the dirty little Latin American apartment made me realize that the poison I fed myself was slowly killing my humanity. My own bitterness was seeping into my heart and making each day less endurable. Heavier.

My heart, which I knew couldn't beat didn't even feel a part of me. My heart was in Forks. My heart was with Bella. There was no denying it. I didn't know why I had done this. Why I had let this happen. It could have been so simple to avoid her from the start - at least I had told myself that. But, the moment her path crossed mine we were both changed forever. The distance that I spent away from her, nor the time could change the way I loved her. The way I would love her forever. Often times, during the day, while confined to the dusty roach ridden apartment, I thought about what it could have been like if I hadn't left. I thought about how I would now go to any length to give her what she wanted. No matter the cost, no matter my own feelings. But, what did matter was the fact that I couldn't give her anything any more. The last gift I had bestowed to her was the promise of my non interference in her life. I wouldn't and I couldn't do it to her. How badly would it hurt her to step into her life again? How much would she hate me if I showed my face again?

Six months away from her taught me one thing. I could do this for her. Couldn't I? My mind and my heart were constantly at war with each other and the selfish poison of love threatened to make me go back to her. To see her again or beg for her forgiveness. I needed to hear her voice. I needed to see her to know if she was alright. I had done my best to not pry. It was impossibly hard to cope with my own decisions though.

Each day I found my resolve growing thinner. Why had I decided to stay from her in the first place? Leaving Bella had been the worst half thought out idea on my part. I hadn't considered what I would do with my life. Leaving her made me realized that each morning when the sun rose, it rose for her. It rose for the two of us to spend another day together. Leaving, and discovering that the sun still came up in the morning was a difficult concept. The world moved and spun and her life went on. Everything around me was just as busy as it had been before, except now, everything was still in motion but me. Bella was the missing piece to my jigsaw puzzle to life. When I had met her, the puzzle of my life was complete. Then, I had gone and the piece that fit perfectly in my heart was gone. I had abandoned it. Each day it felt like I was missing another piece to my puzzle. What I needed was to go around and collect them back up. I needed that, and wanted it.

I was trapped in my mind, constantly curled up in my own brutal thoughts and regrets. I had to make a decision. Being a vampire, I could not feel pain, but this was the closest thing to pain that I could feel and I couldn't imagine any type of physically inflicted pain being worse. The day I had left Bella, I could see the pain in her eyes too. I hid my own self pity and sadness well. I could lie. I regretted it. Regret. The foundation of my life was now built on regret. The more time I had to think, the more I realized how much Bella had loved me. She did love me as I loved her. I was damned, but she was not. She found a place in her heart to love a creature like me. Maybe, just maybe, leaving her wasn't the antidote to my poison. Maybe it just made things worse. I decided that I needed to find out for myself.

Sitting around during the day was serving me no better than it would to be near Bella. I had made my family promise to leave Bella alone. They didn't need to give her reminders. I hadn't talked to them in quite some time though. For all I knew, they were prancing around in her life. I secretly hoped Bella hadn't gotten over me, surely there would be pain in that. Which was the opposite of what I wanted for her, but I did know that I wanted to be back in her life. I just couldn't do that yet. I had settled to watch her from afar. To survey her life with out me. Were I to go and find her happy, I could just easily leave comforted. I hoped.

My mind was made up though. I was going to Forks. I needed to see her. I needed to breathe in the painful scent of her blood that I lusted after for so long. I needed to see if she was okay. I needed to prove to myself that she could live with out me. Because, surely, I couldn't live without her. I knew though, that if I found her to be unhappy that I would grovel, I would beg on my knees for her to take me back. I would never ask her to forgive me though. Forgiveness was not something I was deserving of. Especially not from her. But, I knew I would beg her for hours if that was what it took.

I pushed myself from the dusty pest infested floor. I was finished feeling sorry for myself. My phone had been left dead on the mangled coffee table a few feet from me. I hadn't bothered to charge it. I didn't care. The charger hung limply out of the plug in the wall. I plugged it in and prepared to talk to Alice. I was ready to go back to Forks, but I needed to talk to her first.

* * *

"I thought you might call." Alice's voice was grave. Not as happy as usual, but nothing more could be expected. How could she be her bubbly self when I had done this to her as well? She and Bella were close to best friends and I ordered my family away. I didn't want to think what I had done to them. I could only imagine how upset Rosalie was with me. She was the most furious about having to leave Forks. She wanted to stay. She loved it there. We finally had the perfect semi permanent settlement. The closest thing to a home Rosalie had and I went and ruined it.

My thoughts went back to Alice in the telephone. "So, you've seen then? You know my decision?" Of course she did. I wasn't sure why I asked her. It had been a while since I talked to anyone and it felt like I was making pathetic discussion.

"Yes."

"What do you think? Have you seen any complications?" My voice took a slight edge of paranoia. I was worried about what Bella could be doing. I was worried what could Bella could be doing. I was worried what could happen when I tried to step back into her life. Or even watch her from afar. What would happen if I slipped up and got caught? It wasn't a good idea but I was so desperate that I didn't care.

"Nothing too complicating. I have a theory about what's going on, so don't panic, but I'm not going to tell you now. We're going back home. Get there soon, Edward. We'll talk then." With that, Alice hung up the phone. I was too far away from Alice to pick up any of her thoughts. So, with that I grabbed the small amount of belongings I kept with me and headed for the airport.

The prospect of being home was both comforting and frightening.


	2. Easier To Lie

**(A/N: Hi I'm Carly! This is my first fan fic, so please be kind! I'm writing from Bella's perspective. Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. I wish I was wittier.)**

**

* * *

**

Charlie once told me that sometimes you had to learn to love what's best for you. Sometimes what's best for you isn't your first choice. Sometimes it's not a choice at all. I'd never thought that being with Jacob would be a choice, but he made me happy, right? Well.. less sad, anyways. Besides, what is love, really, than just a good friend? Jacob was my best friend, and he loved me. Edward wasn't coming back; I knew that. It was time I faced it. _He didn't want you, remember?, _I reminded myself.

"So?"

"Oh, um, yeah. Friday, great," I replied, smiling more for his sake than mine.

Jacob had been trying to get me out to dinner ever since we started working on the bikes. We both enjoyed each others' company, of course he'd rather it be somewhere with dimmer lighting and soft music playing in the background. I always knew Jacob's intentions. He never wanted to be just friends, and I'd been selfishly taking advantage of that. A simple dinner was the least I could do.

"La Bella Italia?"

"No! Not.. really into Italian," I tried to cover. I couldn't go back there, not with Jacob.

"Alright..." Jacob answered, obviously noting my apparent aversion to the diner. He scratched his head, trying to thinkof more potential restaurants off the top of his head. "The Crab House in Port Angeles?" He offered.

"Seafood. Food that stares back at you. I'll have to pass."

"Well gosh, Bells. No wonder you're so skinny," he joked, nudging my arm.

Food just wasn't appealing to me lately. Or romantic comedies. Or music. I suppose I'd lost a pound or two since Edward left, but I didn't think it was enough for anyone to notice. I suddenly felt extremely self conscious. Lowering my head, I tucked my hair behind my ear.

"We can go to Taqueria Santanna," I tried to help. "Mexican." I knew it wasn't exactly the most romantic restaurant, but it was something new, somewhere Edward and I'd never gone before.

I could tell Jacob was deliberating whether arguing for a fancier dinner spot was worth it or not.

"Er yeah sure."

I exhaled, relieved that he let it go. Honestly, I really wasn't ready to go on a full blown date with Jacob. It'd been six long months since Edward left me, but he was still constantly in the back of my mind. Jacob made my days better, yes, but I couldn't escape the guilt, that pointless, dysfunctional guilt that I was cheating on Edward. But he left me. This was what he wanted.

* * *

The restaurant was small and cramped. I had to admit, I didn't put much effort into my appearance. I was aware that most girls would normally wear their Sunday best in this situation, but Jacob knew I wasn't the frilly type. Instead, I wore jeans and white long sleeved shirt. My hair was damp from the rain outside and uncooperative strands stuck to my shoulder and neck. Jacob, on the other hand, looked beautiful. It was amazing how much he'd grown in such a short period of time. His clothes always used to just hang there on him, serving no purpose other than to keep him decent. Now, they seemed to cling to him, flattering his new physique. He wore a pressed blue button down shirt, half his hair pulled back immaculately into an elastic. When he smiled, his teeth contrasted wonderfully with his russet skin. Jacob was sweet, funny, and extremely handsome. So what was wrong?

"Jacob, I-"

"Yes?" He interrupted.

"I... was wondering when we'd be able to test out the bikes. They're almost done, right?"

Jacob's face sunk. I could see he clearly was expecting more romantic small talk. He quickly recovered with a sharp inhale and pleasant smile.

"Just a few last minute touches. You never did explain your sudden interest in them.

I shrugged and thought for a while. Eventually I broke the silence with, "I know you said something about a motorcycle, and with your garage.. I figured it would give us something to do." I cleared my throat, obviously uncomfortable with my answer. I reached for my glass of water and suddenly felt it slip from my hands. Smashing against the wooden table, the glass shattered, slicing my palm and spilling the remnants on Jacob.

I gasped, clenching my bleeding hand, "Ouch!" I hissed through my teeth trying to alleviate the pain. I could smell the coppery odor saturating the air beneath my nose. The scent made me woozy, but passing out was the last thing I needed right now. I wish I could be as suave as...

Jacob instantly rose from his seat, not without a soaked shirt.

"Sorry, Jake. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he scoffed. "Are you bleeding?"

I opened my hand, examining the damage. My blood started to pool in my palm. I could feel my stomach churning and I forced my eyes away from the cut.

"Sorry," I answered, biting my lip.

Jacob looked at me like I was insane. He took my cut hand gently to get a better look at it.

"There's some glass in there, Bells. We should probably run up to the hospital," Jacob sternly suggested. He wrapped my hand in a cloth napkin and quickly paid for the bill.

The hospital. It figures I couldn't end a date without it ending in a waiting room. The florescent lights blinded me after sitting in that dark, crowded building. I glanced over at Jacob, but his eyes seemed fine, despite the intense worry and disappointment that painted them. All he wanted was a decent, normal date with me. I was angry at myself for being unable to grant him that. So was it wrong that I actually felt relieved? Jacob was a catch, so why was I so willing to leave that close setting? I was still broken, and I was beginning to think I couldn't ever be fixed. Taking yet another deep breath, I stared at my shoes.

"Isabella Swan, we're ready for you."

I lifted myself from the stiff chair and began walking towards the nurse who was ready to escort me. Quickly, I turned around to Jacob again. "Bikes tomorrow?" The corner of his mouth turned up slightly in a scolding grin and he shook his head at me as I turned and followed the nurse. Oh well, it'd been a while since I'd had stitches anyway.


	3. Your Protector is Coming Home

**(A/N: My next chapter! I worked pretty hard on this one. Please leave Carly and I some nice reviews! If you do, we'll give you virtual cookies! **

**Disclaimer: I'm not Steph. She's far more talented than I am. But, I do like to play action figures with her characters.) **

* * *

**EPOV**

I made it back to Forks on a Wednesday night. It had only been six months. A half year out of all the years I had lived. However, it felt like much longer. The rain poured down from the sky. I noticed it the very moment I got off my plane. To be honest, I couldn't have been happier. The slight chill to the air wasn't cold to me, but I could still tell the temperature was low. It was still only the beginning of March though.

From the moment Alice picked me up at the airport, I could tell that there was something she was hiding from me. She was trying very hard to block something from me. But of course, she'd had a lot of practice over the years. I'd never given her reason to trust me wholly with her visions. Often times I'd blamed her for something she'd seen. I had quite a temper and even though what Alice saw wasn't her fault, I sometimes found myself getting upset with her. That was another thing about myself I had to change. Our car ride together was quiet. Alice could tell that I didn't want to talk. I read in her mind the paths that different conversations could take us. Neither of us wanted to talk after that.

We finally arrived home and to my surprise, the house was empty. Alice must have had a vision about me asking and she cut me off just as I was about to open my mouth to ask. "They went hunting. We all have to have a family meeting Edward. We have a lot to discuss." I tried again to pick her brain for what she was hiding from me, but I was once again unsuccessful. Alice was quite skilled at blocking me and I didn't blame her. For the first time since I had become a vampire, I hadn't enough energy to question her. I didn't care at the moment. I was purely content with being home, back where I belonged.

It wasn't long before Alice excused herself - I was probably the last person she wanted to be around in the mood that I was in. Though I was glad to be back home, I was tortured with flashbacks as clear as they were the day they happened. Alice knew I wasn't going anywhere so she stepped out to hunt as well- knowing that I'd still be here when she got back. The silence was just like it had been before in the apartment I had been staying in, except for one thing. I was home now. No silence could be terrible here. I couldn't believe what I was missing. Clichés were not my cup of literary tea, but it happened to be true that a person never knows what they have until it's gone.

I took the alone time to take in the house. The scents of my family that I had missed in the six months I had been gone. It took up a lot of nerve to finally venture to my room, but I eventually made it up to the third floor. With my hand on the knob, I stood there for a moment before finally opening the door. Just as I feared, the faint scent that tortured me filled my nostrils. The scent that had stayed in my room for six months. The faint scent of Bella. I closed my eyes and walked to the leather sofa. The temptation to just lay there could not be passed up. I laid down looking out the back window into the trees and the sheeting rain.

* * *

A few hours later everyone had come back from their hunting trip. I heard their quiet clamor downstairs in the dining room. We didn't eat, but the table always served a great purpose as a family meeting spot. I stood up and removed myself from the sofa and took my eyes off the rain I had missed.

"He'll be downstairs in about a half of a second." Alice whispered to the family. She must have been watching my future particularly closely. It was rare that Alice watched someone's every move let alone mine. I disregarded it and made my way to the dining room. It was an understatement to say that I was ashamed to show my own face. I didn't want to look anyone in the eye. I had disgraced them and I felt terrible. I still believed it was best if I stayed away from Bella, but I realized I couldn't and it was selfish and incredibly stupid for me to ask them to move because I just wanted them to. I knew Rosalie was probably the most angry with me. She was never one who wanted to listen to the demands of others, so when I asked that they moved, she was furious. Not to mention, Rosalie loved it here more than anyone did.

It didn't surprise me that the moment I stepped foot into the dining room, Esme was the first to take me in for a hug. "Edward!"

"I'm sorry Mom." It was all I could say to her as I returned her embrace. She deserved better than an apology from me, but it was all I could do. I was truly sorry for leaving to hide out away from my problems, which, seemed to follow me anyway, but nearly every day Esme left me a voicemail just to tell me that she loved me and that everyone missed me. She was one of the most loving people I'd ever met in my whole life and I was incredibly thankful for her.

After Esme, Carlisle was the next to hug me. "Welcome back, son."

Then Emmett, with a punch to the shoulder. Alice hugged me as well, but I only got glares from Rose and Jasper. I didn't expect much else though. I looked at Jasper and made eye contact with him. He didn't seem like he wanted to see me. I completely didn't blame him though. I picked through his mind for what in particular he was mad at. What I got from him was that he was just upset for how the family was affected in my absence. I felt bad, I truly did. Jasper saw that I heard him thinking that he didn't want to make it worse for me just yet. I saw myself through his eyes in his perspective. I did look terrible, but I didn't want to waste time feeling sorry for myself.

Everyone sat down in chairs and there was one left for me beside Carlisle and Esme. My normal vampire movements were slower now. I didn't have the energy. Or I did, somewhere and I didn't want to use it. I sat down at the table and averted my gaze from everyone.

Carlisle cleared his throat and was the first to speak. "So. Edward. It's good to have you back."

"Thank you Carlisle." I didn't want to disrespect him and avoid his gaze, but I couldn't look at him.

"From what Alice saw, you're going back to Bella correct?" Wow. He really didn't beat around the bush. I was uncomfortable slightly that Alice had seen me going back to Bella. I wanted to stay out of her life as much as I possibly could. I knew that I couldn't do it for much longer, but when had I actually decided that I was going back for sure? I guess I had.

"That's right. I suppose. Carlisle!" I lamented. " I shouldn't do it." I looked up now, surely he could see the agony in my eyes. He had to know how I really felt about this whole situation. I was conflicted with myself. The selfless part told me to let her be. I couldn't hurt her any longer. However, the more dominant and selfish part of me wanted to be with her more than anything. I wanted to take her back. "I can't hurt her Carlisle. I'd never forgive myself. I truly love her more than anything in the whole world. I feel like leaving her alone would be the best for her! I can't have her be a part of this life. She can't want this!"

"Did you ask her though?"

Come to think about it, I hadn't. I hadn't cared what she really wanted. I only cared about what I had wanted her to want.

Just then, I noticed something. Alice moved slightly and fidgety and looked in Carlisle's direction. The thoughts that she had been hiding came bursting through. She couldn't see Bella anymore. Her visions of Bella were now far and few between. The floodgates of her mind cracked open and I saw Alice's attempts at seeing Bella's future. She saw Bella only once in a while. It had never happened with anyone before. Fury built up inside me.

"Edward. Don't. Esme loves this table. If you hit it, it will break and Esme will be unhappy." Alice stopped me from something I hadn't even realized I was going to do. I was so frustrated though.

"Calm down, Edward. Alice has a theory." Jasper reached across the table. He put a hand on my arm. From his thoughts I could tell that he didn't want to force the calm on me and thought it best if I calmed myself down.

I sat back in the chair and took a deep breath. "What's going on?"

Just then, the expression on Alice's face turned slightly dark. "I can't see werewolves."

"Bella is a...werewolf?" I tried the words out. They were very unusual to say. There was no way that was possible. No way what so ever. She wasn't any part Quileute. _Quileute!_ Just then I realized that Bella's friend Jacob Black was next in line for the werewolf gene in his family. She must have been spending time with him? "She's with Jacob."

"Yes." Said Alice quietly. "I think they're dating. I saw a vision of Bella telling Charlie that she's going out with Jacob on Friday."

"Oh." I was drowning in self pity and hurt. The hurt I caused for myself and the hurt I brought Bella when I left.

* * *

I once thought that if Bella was happy, I'd be able to leave her alone, but such was not exactly the case. I knew that I needed to find her. To watch over her without intruding. So, on Friday, I went to her house. I spent the majority of my day, sitting in the tree, listening to her bustle about the tiny house. She was cleaning. A CD played most of the day. One that I recognized. It was a CD that she and I listened to together.

I imagined myself with her. Spinning her around to the melody. Slow dancing didn't go with this particular genre of music all that well, but I didn't care. After a few short moments of music she groaned and it stopped. I could have sworn I'd heard her mumble "I hate music."

Jacob showed up Friday night and I followed them to the restaurant they ate at. Mexican. The scent coming from the place was disgusting. I was repulsed. But, if I concentrated hard enough I could just smell the torturous scent of Bella. It burned in the most delightful way. The rain and the scent of Mexican food overwhelmed the faint scent of her, but I figured it was for the best.

I saw her through Jacob's mind as I sat outside the restaurant in the pouring rain. She was just as beautiful as always, but she lost weight. Her eyes looked sad and I wanted nothing more than to be able to hold her and say that everything was going to be alright. But, she was with Jacob now. She was moderately happy, right? Secretly for my own sake I selfishly wished that she wasn't happy with him. It was cruel and selfish. It just proved the creature that I was. For the moment though I didn't care.

They were seated at a table and began to make small talk. Bella's voice in Jacob's head sounded just as always. But, her voice wasn't the only thing he was thinking about. He was thinking all those things that teenage boys think about when they're with a girl and I was repulsed. I wanted to march in the Mexican place and sweep Bella away. But, I knew that was not something I could do. I had to leave her alone. I told myself innumerable times that I was just watching over her. Keeping her safe. But, judging by their discussion, it wouldn't exactly be an easy thing to do. They were talking about some motorcycles. The conversation brought up memories in Jacob's mind. Memories that I didn't want to see.

I was thankful though, that Jacob had been there for her. From what I saw, he protected her. He tended to her countless injuries. He cared for her. I would have said that Jacob was a safer choice for Bella, but my knowledge of werewolves lead me to believe that he was quite nearly as dangerous as myself. Werewolves had the worst tempers. If he got upset at her, he could cause so much damage to her. I wasn't sure if he was aware of that or not.

Suddenly the sound of a breaking glass pulled me out of my thoughts and worries. A new worry was present now. I watched through Jacob's mind as Bella smashed her glass and cut her hand. I immediately tensed. I wanted to do something. I wanted to take care of her. I very nearly marched into the Mexican place and pushed Jacob aside to tend to her wound. I didn't care how terribly painful the scent of her blood would be.

Before I could worry too much, Jacob suggested going to the hospital. The wound was not fatal. It was something that I knew Jacob would be able to take care of. He'd get her to the hospital just fine. I left, deciding that Jacob could manage getting her to the hospital. I hid in the darkness that was starting to form by the side of the building and watched them leave. Bella with a cloth around her hand. When the air blew in my direction, my throat burned. It seared like a fire that could never be quenched; I didn't care, it didn't bother me.

I left shortly after they did. It was time to go back home. I didn't know where I could go from here.

**(A/N: Part II: PLEASE REVIEWWW! Or to the guillotine with you!) **


	4. Asleep in Dreams So Deep

**(A/N: Carly's second chapter. In the event you were wondering, Carly writes from Bella's point of view. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer:Carly's the daughter of Pat and Bob, I'm the daughter of Lisa and Mike. Neither of us are the daughter of Stephen or Candy Morgan. (They happen to be Stephenie's parents.) Therefor, we do not own, or even know the owner of these characters. **

* * *

Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Marches like heart beats; Pounding heart beats that envelop your senses till you're numb and useless. Dull and fragile. His uniform was as sharp as his clenched jaw. The glimmer from his pale white skin reflected on the shiny barrel of his gun. He was advancing, or was he retreating? He had to of been coming closer with every swift step, right? Only, he wasn't any closer to me at all. He marched along in beautiful formation, but something was pulling me back.

Why hadn't I realized earlier? I felt the sharp blades of uncut grass under my fingertips as _something_ dragged me away from the mesmerizing soldier. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I felt the stress on my vocal chords, the fatigue and lightheadedness that follows yelling at the top of your lungs. There was no sound. Could I've gone deaf? Why was I trying to scream?

I wasn't afraid of whatever was hauling me from the site, I realized. Was I actually upset that I was being taken away from the soldier's presence? He was armed, and his expression was menacing. I knew I should've been afraid, but I wasn't. The sudden stench of wet dog assaulted my nose. I turned my head to see an abnormally large wolf tugging on the collar of my shirt. I gasped at the enormity of it, but even with the shock of the incredulous animal pulling me, my attention almost immediately went back to the soldier.

He was aiming the weapon towards the wolf, or so I thought. The soldier grinned, and with a puff of gunpowder and an earsplitting bang, an inconceivable, burning pain throbbed just below my collarbone. I looked down to examine the wound. The bullet went right through the left side of my chest, and I knew it must've punctured my heart. I was bleeding profusely. There was no possible way I'd be able to survive this injury.

When I lifted my head, the soldier was nowhere to be seen. Before being able to process another thing, the wolf was over me, licking the wound. The bleeding seemed to stop, surprisingly. Although the pain was still very much there, the wound seemed to actually be _healing_. When the massive wolf was done, it licked the side of my face and ran off into the woods. I laid there, astonished from the whole scene. The soldier and the wolf were both gone.

I was alone. Alone, with this ghastly scar. I clutched my chest, feeling the burning pain of the wound at its worst, even though it seemed to be healed. Scanning the woods, for help, for company, for _anything_, I saw a pair of incandescent yellow eyes staring at me through the trees. I screamed then, louder than I think I ever have. "Bella," my name echoed, from where I wasn't sure.

It wasn't the first time I'd woken up from my own screaming. In fact, it'd happened a lot- almost every night- since he left. I sat up in bed, and when my eyes adjusted, I swear I saw him there- my soldier. Edward. At the foot of my bed. I turned to switch on my lamp to get a better look, but when I turned back, he was gone. False hope, it seemed. Hopeless hope, if there ever was such a thing. I scratched my head and looked at the time. Seven A.M. There was no way I'd be able to go back to sleep, and I was wary to the idea anyways. I wasn't sure how many more nightmares I could endure.

* * *

**(A/N Part II: Yeah. Short chapter. But, you liked it. If you review there will be a lonnnnng one tomorrow morning!) **


	5. You Talk in Your Sleep

**(A/N: Two chapters in one day and no reviews? You people are lucky we love you. Please review. Lizzi's chapter coming right up. Edward P.O.V ftw!  
**

**Disclaimer: I'm too lazy to say something funny. We don't own the characters.) **

* * *

I told myself Bella would be alright. Which, was probably true. She had a few minor cuts with glass in them. I knew it would be taken care of. I didn't want to leave her with Jacob Black, but I couldn't put myself back into her life. I couldn't just barge into her date and whisk her away to mend her wounds. I had to remind myself that she was human, and part of being human was getting hurt. Stepping out of her life was what I wanted. Leaving her meant letting her be human through the cuts and scrapes. I was endlessly thankful that there was someone to take care of her.

On the other hand though, I also knew that eventually I was going to step back into her life. I had come to terms with it now. There was no way to avoid it. The pain it caused me to see her ached. It was bittersweet. She was still as beautiful as always. The first time I had seen her since I left - when I watched her from the tree- was a joy and a pain. The sight of her left me breathless. That was when I made my decision. However, Alice couldn't see the outcome. I hadn't yet decided when I would visit her. But, the decision I made left a few paths that I could take.

I had to make sure she was home safely after her trip to the hospital. Around midnight, I set off for her house, walking through the woods. I was really in no hurry to get there. I was in the process of battleling my inner demons that told me to speak to her tonight. After a while, I realized that if I stepped into her life again now, I wouldn't have had the chance to see if she was happy. Not that it mattered. I did, however need to watch her more.

As I approached the Swan house, I discovered that Charlie Swan had fallen asleep in front of the television. Some things never changed. Bella was asleep too. Which meant she was home - and hopefully alright. Guilt struck me as I launched myself up into her bedroom window. It was something I'd done many times before. This time though was different. It was different yet the same. I had so many times crept into her room and watched her sleep. She was so beautiful and peaceful looking. Her troubles during the day were gone and sometimes a new set of night troubles were present- judging by the things she said in her sleep, but her face was ever peaceful. It was comforting in a way. I sat in the rocker that I'd been in so many nights as I watched the peaceful, beautiful angel sleep.

She was unusually quiet. She used to talk in her sleep often, usually after she had been asleep for a while, so I was guessing that she had fallen asleep not too long ago. I was completely mesmerized though. This was the closest I'd been to her in six months. Her cream skin was silvery in the moonlight that beamed in the window and her pink lips parted as soft breaths crept out evenly and quietly. I caught a faint mouthwatering scent of strawberry and another scent that was purely Bella. The scent got caught in the slight draft that wafted in the open window. It was pure and beautiful torture. Her brown hair was fanned, long and wavy over her pillow.

I wasn't sure how long I watched her before the talking started. First, she began with hushed whimpers. I could already tell she was having an unpleasant dream. Her brow furrowed slightly, but her face retained a slight bit of the earlier peace that she had before the dream started. After a few more moments she was tossing and turning. Mumbling something about her soldier. I couldn't imagine the dream she was having. It was agonizing to me that I was unable to read her mind. I wasn't sure what I would give to be able to see what she was dreaming of. But, more than that I wished I could comfort her as she tossed about.

Very suddenly she let out a short but surprisingly loud whimper. It was full of fear. It caused Charlie to stir downstairs, but it did not wake him. I could tell her dream was turning in a more unpleasant direction. I wanted to wake her, to snap her out of it. I was beside myself. There was nothing I could do. The slow rhythmic beat of her heart picked up slightly. I stood from the rocking chair and moved to the foot of her bed, watching her very closely.

Her hands moved slowly to where her heart was. Not all the way, but the gesture was clear. Was this something I did to her? She never had nightmares. All the nights I watched Bella sleep, she never had nightmares that caused her to be this lively, thrashing and nearly crying through the night. I could have made a mistake in thinking she was awake, she moved so much.

Somewhere in the mix of mumbling I heard my name. It came out of her mouth so clearly that I thought she was awake. However, she tossed again and I knew she was not. I heard my name another time and wondered if I was in her dreams. Was I the cause of this hideous nightmare she was having? If I felt guilty before, it was nothing compared to this. I was haunting her sleep? I had failed her. I promised her life would be as if I no longer existed but I lied. I was still around her. In dreams. I was making things worse for her, over and over again. I was a monster. The very monster she once tried to convince me that I was not. I was convinced that I was only placed on this Earth to do harm. Over and over again I brought hurt to those who I loved.

Her tossing became more rapid, and her mumbling stronger. I was dragged from my own thoughts and my main focus was once again on Bella, right in front of me. I was worried that if the nightmare went on, that her voice would crescendo and her once soft frightened whimpers would turn to screams. That was what happened for most people who were plagued with night terrors. Then, just as I hoped she wouldn't- Bella screamed.

"Bella." I spoke loud enough for her to hear. I wasn't sure of what I thought I would accomplish by speaking, but her screaming suddenly ceased and she was awake. Her heartbeat changed from the heavy beats of sleep to an awake rhythm and her breathing became less labored and nervous. Against my better judgment I stayed motionless where I was. I couldn't make myself leave. I had to stay there. She shot up so she was sitting. I knew I only had moments more to stay there before her eyes would adjust and she would see me. Part of me wanted her to see me, but I had to leave. I thought I heard a low intake of breath.

She turned her body to the right, in the direction of the lamp. I knew I only had a half second before she would see me. I almost didn't leave, but I knew it wasn't the right time. I jumped soundlessly out the window and off into the early morning light. I had to go back home.


End file.
